My Take on Harvey Weinstein


Good Will Hunting

Shakespeare in Love

Pulp Fiction

The English Patient


Silver Linings Playbook

Django Unchained

Gangs of New York


These are but a few of the films that have one thing in common.

These, and many more, have one name in common.

That name - Harvey Weinstein.

I love movies, y’all. I really do. Even though I’m a published novelist, I consider myself a screenwriter first. And one of my dream meetings was that with Harvey Weinstein.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention his political activism. He has hosted fundraisers for Democratic politicians including for Hilary Clinton’s ill-fated presidential run as well as having Malia Obama serve as an intern this past summer.

On October 5, 2017, The New York Times published a piece alleging that Weinstein has been covering up sexual assault and misconduct for decades. Women ranging from entry-level employees to well-known actresses Ashley Judd and Rose McGowan were named in the piece.

Harvey has since been fired from his position with the Weinstein Company.

Weinstein is well known for having a volatile temper and has been prone to outbursts of rage and anger.

Those are the facts. And here’s my opinion.

I don’t give a damn who you are, there are things you just don’t do. There are things that a King doesn’t do.

You don’t physically abuse animals, women, children, or the elderly.

And you don’t use sexual favors to exert your power. Period!

Harvey Weinstein is a powerful man. And he wielded that power to control these women. There’s no doubt this is a power trip.

When it comes to allegations and crimes committed by powerful men, I can separate the crime from the talent.

Jerry Sandusky was a helluva football coach. There’s no denying that. But he’s also a serial pedophile and is behind bars where he belongs.

Bill Cosby is considered by many to be one of the finest stand-up comedians of all time. He also created and starred in one of the best sitcoms of all time. But 50+ years of allegations against him add up.

As a filmmaker, Woody Allen is a hero to me. Few have weaved personal stories with such heart. But the man is a creep who married his step daughter.

Men wield their power - especially over women - in a way that disturbs me greatly.

Men who do that aren’t kings. They aren’t even princes. They’re peasants.

Harvey Weinstein has been a producer for some of my favorite films of all time. And I will continue to watch these movies.

But don’t you dare put me in a room with him.

He’s a genius in his work. But simply put, he’s a bad guy.

And he deserves his day in court. But I can’t help but think that where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

And there’s a hell of a lot of smoke.

Ryan X - looking for beta testers

“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

The first time was in the eye care aisle in Walmart.

The final time was in my apartment while on a call with my coach.

August 29, 2010 was a turning point in my life. I wrote this blog post where I basically said “ENOUGH!” And that created a lot of abundance in a short amount of time.

I had the enough moment when I was looking for contact lens solution in Walmart.

My biggest fear in life is that I’m not enough. It’s a fear of lack and a fear of running out of time and resources. It’s as if I’m not where I want to be NOW, I’ll never be where I want to be.

Make no mistake, my life is as good as it’s ever been. But I’m not where I want to be yet. My income, client practice, relationships, authorial, and personal power aren’t where I want them to be…yet.

But just because I’m not there now, doesn’t mean I won’t ever get there.

I’ve gone through my entire life like there was never going to be enough. Like there wasn’t going to be enough time, enough money, datable women, story inspiration – nothing was ever going to be enough. I’ve lived my entire life like I was running out of time.

And one of my biggest regrets is that I couldn’t present my dad with a signed copy of Written in the Stone. I ran out of time before I could give that to him.

Let’s assess where my life is right now. What are the facts?

·      I’m down 25 pounds and counting since I moved to New York.

·      I’m accepted by some amazing men and women sight unseen (sound familiar?)

·      My writing is as good as it’s ever been.

·      I have the potential for a magical relationship staring me in the eyes.

·      I’m creating a new life for myself every day.

·      And I have fallen head over heels in love with myself.

Anything bad there? It’s all good. It’s all gravy.


·      I still want to lose another 20 pounds by January.

·      Have those men and women gotten me any business yet?

·      I’ve still got at least 15 thousand words to a completed first draft of a new book.

·      Potential stresses me out! Potential doesn’t make me happy.

·      Loving myself is a difficult choice at times.

Long story short, I’m not there yet.

Since that August Sunday in 2010, I have set my life on fire.

·      I wrote and published a novel.

·      I’m neck deep in another one.

·      I’m a graduate of the world’s finest coach training program.

·      I have a new family across the western hemisphere. From Grand Cayman to Rhode Island. From BC to Chicago. I’m part of the finest community of people I have ever known.

·      I’m healing and re-building every day.

And that’s just for starters.

So, why am I sharing all this? Why am I opening myself for all this?

My life is already incredible and beautiful RIGHT NOW! And it’s getting better every day.

I’ve been scared to lean into the good things my life has. Because – I’m terrified that it’s all going to be taken away from me.

But you know what? That’s bullshit!

My life is not going to be taken away from me. I’m not a child. I’m a grown man with power and purpose.

Getting back to that original quote, the first time I truly got tired of my bullshit was after that female human broke my heart in 2010.

The final time – the absolute final time – was today with my coach.

I was sitting there really choking back tears, and I couldn’t help but ask myself “What the hell are you doing here, Ryan?”

I am a king! I’m brilliant, kind, loving, funny, and warm. And I’m pretty damn sexy! A king worries not about these things. A king IS good. He doesn’t worry about how it looks. Because a king knows who he is.

My original re-boot I called Ryan 2.0. It was good for a while, but it wore out its usefulness.

I’ve gone through so many operating systems that I don’t know what number I’m on.

So, I’m going to borrow a page from Apple here. Apple is naming their new Rolls Royce special edition iPhone the iPhone X. It costs as much as a new Rolls, but that’s beside the point.

From this place of abundant resources, unlimited love and time, and expansive love and peace, I hereby release Ryan X.

I’m going to take this being, and spread it over the world. I’m going to let Ryan be Ryan. I’m going to put my voice on a louder and louder speaker. I’m going to show the world just what I can create.

I’ve created a lot with my life in the last 8 years. And I’m just getting started.

I know I have control over my life. I know I have control over who I’m being in the world. I know I am worthy of the big things I’ve declared for myself.

But unlike the original Ryan 2.0 release, this won’t be hard. This will just be, because this is who I am.

If I could reflect the words of the great poet Maurice White in the Earth, Wind, and Fire Song Mighty Mighty.

“In your heart lies/all the answers. To the truth you/can’t run from.”

You know something, Ryan X is without a doubt the being of a King. And make no mistake, I am a king!

It’s about time I start to own that.

Wild Kingdom: The Struggle Bus...


“Welcome to Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, I’m Marlin Perkins. In our quest to find the most exotic and unusual animals in the world, our cameras have taken us to the wilds of Westchester County, New York. And Jim Fowler, this animal is a strange one.”

That it is, Marlin. This is perhaps the most unusual animal I’ve ever seen. And it’s too big to fit into our studios.

“Let’s go outside and look at it.”


Marlin and Jim walk outside and find a large bus. This bus has only one remaining tire. It has graffiti up and down both sides. And the windshield is missing. Not broken, just missing.

And the hood is up and smoke billows from the engine bay.

“What is this disturbing-looking creature?”

Marlin, this is Strugglebussicus Whatthefuckisthis. Its common name is the Struggle Bus. The Struggle Bus is a creature native to the urban and suburban areas of the United States. It isn’t an entirely solitary animal, but it isn’t incredibly social either.

“What are some of the behavior patterns of the Struggle Bus?”

I’m so glad you asked. The Struggle Bus is wary of any help. It’s wary of any support or love. It’s usually known for having depressed looking humans attempting to board and ride them. Sometimes the humans will be wearing garb colloquially known as suits, and or dresses. The struggling humans bring down the energy of Strugglebussicus.

“Didn’t you tell me they have tempers?”

Absolutely they do! The Struggle Buses have very short tempers. And they break down a lot.

“How so?”

Let’s take a look at some film that we shot while on safari. This was shot in an area of New York State called…Port Chester. Although the locals pronounce it with the emphasis on Port instead of Chester. Almost like one word.


Now, Port Chester is about an hour outside of New York City. And it’s a common stomping ground for the Struggle Bus. As you can see, this specimen appears to be startled by every passing human. Even if the human doesn’t appear to want to ride the Struggle Bus.

“Would you say that the Strugglebussicus doesn’t trust humans?”

That’s exactly right, Marlin. They don’t appear to trust anything walking on two legs. Take this human right here. She is a rather buxom female human. Dressed in a tight skirt, revealing shirt of some kind, and—


Sorry. I got distracted by this remarkable creature. Here you’ll see the Struggle Bus has its door open willing to receive its latest passengers. But when this hot piece of—


This female human walk by, you’ll notice that the front of the bus visibly sank. And it closed its doors and drove away.

“What’s going on here?”

This is a common occurrence for the struggle bus. Here you’ll see the Struggle Bus in some sort of breakdown. Its human passengers walk away slowly and dejectedly toward their destination. But not actually at their destination.

“Is the smoke normal?”

100% normal. Humans still ride Strugglebussicus, but it’s nothing but breakdowns and detours and, well, struggle.

“Why do humans subject themselves to the struggle bus?”

It’s easy and comfortable. And that’s the most remarkable finding of my safari in the New York City suburbs.

“Whoa! What was that?”

Marlin, that was the Strugglebussicus’ arch rival. That’s Magicenergycus Whatwhaticus. That’s better known as the Magic Bus.

“Did you notice how the Struggle Buses all flinched when the Magic Bus flew by?”

Strugglebussicus is envious of Magicenergycus. Always has been ever since the species were discovered. The Magic Bus runs on fairy dust and possibility. The Struggle Bus runs on, well, struggle and the tears of broken dreams. The Magic Bus runs on possibility, but nobody knows where it is going or where it’s supposed to go.

“Why do humans ride something that nobody knows where it’s supposed to go?”

It’s fun!

“Thank you, Jim. We’ll check back in with you later on in our program. After this word from Marlboro, we’ll go down to the wiles of South Africa where we’ll go inside a herd of elephants. And we’ll check back in the Magic and Struggle Buses.”

Me? A Ladies Man?


It’s probably been like 10 years ago. I’ll never forget this guy.

I was at the gym and speaking with two friends of mine. These friends were both attractive female humans. Colloquially known as women.

I was in the moment and really enjoyed their company.

Flash forward about 10 minutes. I left both ladies behind to head to the shower. As I was getting ready for the shower, here was the exchange I had in the locker room.

“I saw you.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“I saw you up there on the treadmill, man. You’re a real ladies man.”

It was almost like I heard a record scratch. What the hell was he talking about? Me? A ladies man?! I’m a loser, I’m no ladies’ man!

I’ll give you another example. I met a guy a couple weeks ago. He’s part of a networking group I belong to. He said something to me that really stuck out like a sore thumb.

“You’re a writer and a people person? I’ve never met a writer who didn’t hate people.”

We coaches have a saying. You’re not the best correspondent for your highest and best self. And you never will be. Get people to reflect that part of you back to you and it’ll actually register.

I’m in a period of awakening and a period of transition in my life. I feel like something has been awakened within me that’s a little tricky to be with.

Because I don’t see myself as the outgoing guy that I’m showing up as. I see myself as the loner who always sat alone at lunch at high school.

I’ve seen glimpses of being this so-called people person. If I can lean into my purpose and my highest self, there’s no limit to what I can create. I’ve seen it over and over.

And I don’t see myself as this ladies’ man. I see myself as the loser who hasn’t had a date in years.

But you know something, women LOVE me! They absolutely love me. I’m real, honest, and authentic – three things that women love. Among many.

At the end of my podcast – Magic Time with me and Emily Perkins (click rightchere to subscribe) we either acknowledge each other or our guest. It’s something that we both really enjoy and – to be honest – are pretty good at. And we just reflect something about the other person’s greatness back to them. It’s a tactic we also practice with our clients.

But she said something that really stuck out to me in our last episode.

She reflected that people (and she) are drawn to me is my “all-encompassing heart.” When I’m real, it’s pretty obvious that’s where I’m coming from.

See, you’re not the best correspondent for your highest and best. You usually only see what’s “wrong” with you.

But when people can see you for your truth, that’s a powerful thing.

I am a people person. I am a ladies man.

THAT is my truth.

Thoughts on Walter Becker - let me tell you about a major dude


I believe the date was January 10, 2010.

I still believe that 2009 was the most challenging year of my life. In January of that year, I was rejected for a promotion at my old call center job that I was immensely and imminently qualified. In July of that year, I suffered my life-threatening illness.

Of course, in February, I saw my mom pass away.

Starting in September, a workman-like group of Football players started doing something spectacular. They started winning every game they played.

The 2009 Alabama Crimson Tide will go down as my favorite Bama team of all time. They went 14-0, won the SEC championship, Mark Ingram won Bama’s first ever Heisman, and they went out and won their 13th national championship.

After I got home from Dad’s place after watching Bama finish off the Texas Longhorns, I did three things.

·      I poured myself a drink – Jack Daniels on the Rocks.

·      I pressed play on Steely Dan’s iconic song Deacon Blues.

·      I cried.

July 8, 2015

2015 was a terribly challenging year for me. I lost my dad the previous December. I felt lost, lonely, and unsupported by all but a few.

July 8 was a Wednesday. I’d just finished a coaching call when Pete started barking. I looked up and saw the UPS driver drive away.

He left a small brown package at my door. The return address was from an up-and-coming website called

I knew what it was, but I could hardly believe it. I held in my hands an actual copy of Written in the Stone. A 30-year dream just came true.

I did two things after I opened that book.

·      I pressed play on Deacon Blues.

·      I cried.

I forget the date, but it was December of 2016.

It was finals weekend for my Coach Training program. And to my utter shock and disbelief, I passed both my written and oral finals.

I’m walking down the waterfront in Downtown Manhattan. I’m listening to random music and something calls to me. I’m pretty sure the voice was that of my dad.

Deacon Blues…”

I did three things.

·      I pressed play on Deacon Blues.

·      I’m walking down the waterfront and singing the chorus at the top of my lungs.

·      I’m crying my eyes out.

Why do I bring up these three stories with this song?

Deacon Blues has that iconic refrain of “They call Alabama the Crimson Tide, call me Deacon Blues.”

The song is about a loser named Deacon Blues who wants to do nothing more than live the life of a sax man, and play what he feels. He doesn’t get any support and people tell him he might as well “drink scotch whisky all night long and die behind the wheel.”

When Donald Fagen and Walter Becker were working on that song, Becker came up with the iconic line.

“You mean, it’s like, they call these cracker assholes grandiose names like the Crimson Tide, and I’m this loser so they call me this other grandiose name Deacon Blues?” Becker told Fagen.

We lost Walter Becker on Sunday. He hadn’t been well, but his passing caught me off guard. Becker was a gifted guitarist, bass player, and genius lyricist.

He was only 67 years old – one year older than my dad.

I don’t have to tell you just how much Steely Dan’s music means to me and my healing from losing my dad. Their songs have done more to keep my dad’s spirit alive in my soul more than anything.

Fagen has said that he’s going to keep the music they created alive with his existing band. And for that, I’m terribly grateful.

Walter, I acknowledge your artistry. I acknowledge your love for music. I acknowledge your love for the men and women you play with. And I acknowledge your commitment to the legacy of your creation.

And Walter, there’s one more thing I want you to do for me. A personal favor.

You’ve got a big fan who wants to buy you a shot of that Cuervo Gold. Tony is terribly excited to meet you.

Thank you, Walter. You are and were a major dude. You were the expanding man.


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Let Ryan Be Ryan

With apologies to Aaron Sorkin, I need to rant.


This is more important than people liking me. I want to speak now!

That’s it! I’ve had it! No more! I’m so done!

I have held my tongue long enough. I’ve kept my cards close to the vest long enough. I can’t take this anymore. I have had enough! I have had absolutely enough!

Let’s keep my mouth shut because nobody gives a damn about what I have to say. That’s the mindset I’ve had long enough.


I’m serious, I can’t take this anymore.

I have kept a giant in a cage. I have kept my monster on a leash.

It’s time.

It’s time to let the monster free. It’s time to let my monster intellect, my gigantic heart, and my loving soul out of its cage.

It’s time to Let Ryan Be Ryan!

This is a different side of me that nobody has truly seen. But the monster has to run free.

I can’t hold back anymore.

I’m done!

I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this anymore.

I’ve been at a 4 because I never thought anyone cared. I never thought my voice mattered!

But that is bullshit! My voice matters!

My piece on re-shaping the conversation about being a human being after Charlottesville was featured by the Good Men Project.

People hold onto my voice and what I have to say. They hold onto it with every word! I create magic just by walking into a room.

I am a giant among men! And it’s about time the world knows it!

I will no longer keep my opinions silent because I fear they’ll offend. I’ll no longer keep my intellect under wraps because I’m afraid it won’t be appreciated. I will no longer hide my light under a bushel.

It’s time to Let Ryan Be Ryan!

I’m gonna raise the level of inspiration in this world. And let THAT be my legacy!

It’s time to Let Ryan Be Ryan!

If you don’t like that, if you don’t align with that, if you don’t serve at the pleasure of Team Ryan, it’s been nice knowing you. Because way more than you are aligned with this.

It’s time to Let Ryan Be Ryan!


Hydrating breakthroughs


Commitments are a tricky thing. As soon as you commit to doing something, it becomes real. And if that commitment is coming from your highest and best self, then that commitment can truly transform the world.

And like many things in this world, commitments aren’t real until you put language and words to them.

Perhaps my highest commitment in my life is the commitment to seeing my universe live big, bold, powerful lives. Intentionally designing a life that lights your fire and that you adore.

That kind of transformation starts from the inside out. To transform the world, you must begin by transforming yourself.

I’ve been seeing a flood of breakthroughs in my life as of late. And simply put, breakthroughs are new ways of being.

Since I intentionally began my transformational journey almost 5 years ago when I began therapy, I have seen the breakthrough as the goal. If I can break through the pain and heartache of my past, that’s the goal.

But I have grown to see breakthroughs as intimidating. And you know something, it’s not serving my highest purpose anymore.

I had a unique shift in this approach just the other day. And the more I think about it, it makes perfect sense.

Breakthroughs hydrate transformation, just like water hydrates the body.

As I’ve mentioned on my blog before, I have recently gotten into practicing bikram yoga. It’s a specialized form of hot yoga practiced in a 104-degree room.

First of all, it’s kind of funny to think that practicing yoga in a sauna is anything short of insane. But I find it a beautiful and soulful practice. I’ve had body image and self-love breakthroughs in that room, perhaps more than I have ever had.

It’s also sweaty as hell.

One of the admonitions I had before I did my first class was that I needed to keep hydrated all day before the class. I’m the kind of guy who always keeps a bottle of water with me. At least a gallon a day.

But I had no idea how much I’d sweat out in one 90-minute class. Let’s just say that a shirt is a hindrance.

After a bikram class, I crave water on a deep level. Also, high water fruits like watermelon.

The water supports me in the breakthroughs I’ve had on that mat.

Finishing the class wasn’t the goal. The breakthrough was in the practice.

{Did I just write that out loud? Me? Empowering practice?! Alan Iverson would be so proud.}

Let’s look at some of the breakthroughs I’ve had recently. And man, have they been huge.

The first one I’d say would be that I’m owning my voice and the power that my voice holds. That in and of itself was a breakthrough.

I could use that breakthrough as the sword of Damocles over my head and be intimidated by it. I could be intimidated by the fact that I have an obligation to speak out about things that disturb me.

Or I could use it as an instrument of peace and good in the world. I could choose to use my voice to speak out about things that disturb me – like, y’know, everything in the news this past week. I could use the power of my voice to find love, to empower my writing, to blow my coaching business sky high, you name it.

In other words, I could use it, or I could let it use me.

I’m choosing to use these breakthroughs to hydrate my life.

Breakthroughs are like fuel. Breakthroughs are like a great meal. Like people use food and water as fuel for their body, I’m going to use breakthroughs to fuel my big, bold, transformed life.


I am a king...a tyrant...and a peasant.

I’ve been teasing a big announcement over the past couple weeks. And I’m not going to make this announcement until next week. But I need to share something. I need to unburden myself.

Kings choose to show up as kings. It’s a constant choice because you could easily choose to show up as a tyrant or a peasant at any time.

Perhaps I should distinguish just what a tyrant is and a peasant is.


·      Tyrants are oblivious to criticism. They don’t believe anything negative about them.

·      Tyrants can be childish. They hold their breath until they turn blue until they get what they want.

·      Tyrants can be arrogant and self-righteous.



·      A peasant is obsequious. They are grateful to an obnoxious degree for every bite and every morsel they get. But they don’t believe they deserve anything other than the basics.

·      They’re satisfied with mediocrity and the humdrum.


I can say this with certainty. There’s a relationship in my life where I haven’t been a king. I have responded with self-righteousness and obliviousness. I have also grown satisfied with mediocrity and humdrum.

It’s not worthy of me. It’s not worthy of this woman. And it’s not worthy of the life I’m creating.


Make no mistake, I am a king. I know my worth. I own my worth. I charge a hell of a lot of tax on my worth. I have passions that turn me on. And I love deeply and unconditionally.

But being a king isn’t easy. Being a king takes constant work on yourself. It’s scary to be a king when we’re usually satisfied with the ordinary and the meh lives we’ve been leading.

My question to you all is this: do you want to be a king? Do you want a life that you love? Do you want a queen? Do you want a career that turns you on? Do you want to live your life as if you’re alive?


Being a king takes work. The works is all with yourself.

Are you ready to go deep to create the life you want? Are you ready to create the love and the career you deserve?

Are you ready for a kingdom?

If you are, let’s talk! is the email. Send me a message and we can move from there.


I am a king. But in this relationship, I have become a bit of a peasant. I’ve also become a bit of a tyrant. And it ends today.

If you’re reading this – and I will be reaching out to you individually – I am sorry. This isn’t worthy of me. It’s not worthy of you. And it’s not worthy of us.


Are you ready to work hard on your life? Are you ready for some difficult conversations? Are you ready to be challenged harder than you’ve ever been challenged before?

Hit me up.


Let’s be kings!