My $.03...Thoughts from a train

I haven’t dropped a Ryan’s Random Ramblings in a while. Y’know, it’s time.

These are just a few of the various and sundry observations I have. Think of Larry King’s old USA Today column, or his twitter. But, y’know, with less randomness.

Here we go.

·      As I have crossed the threshold into 40-somethingism, I notice weird things. I mean, I noticed weird things when I was 12, but it’s getting stranger the older I get. Like, for example, I notice this at the gym. Men are truly bizarre creatures. There’s this one cat who has enough body hair to make George the Animal Steele blush. But here’s the thing…he also looked like George on top of his head. It’s like the hair retreated south to get away from his head.

·      I get the urge on a pretty regular basis to make fun of the accents around here. It’s easy. I notice stereotypes every dang day. But I don’t do it. Y’know why? Cuz I am the foreigner.

·      I am 40 years old and I now own a passport for the first time in my life. And a dear lady friend and I will be using our passports in a matter of a few weeks to visit a mutual friend down in the Cayman Islands. More than moving across country, no longer being in the south, and truly living on my own for the first time in my life – the first two sentences in this paragraph make me feel more like an adult than anything else.

·      Love scares me. It’s disturbing to the level it scares me. I have amazing people in my life who adore me. But love scares me. Because when love comes into my life, that’s when I start to lose people who I love. And I’ve lost too many people I love lately.

·      I am the following:

o   A human being.

o   A man.

o   A warrior for those I love.

o   A warrior for love.

o   A lover.

o   An artist.

o   A writer.

o   An author.

o   A poet.

o   Pete’s human.

o   Bama Born and Bama Bred.

o   The Deacon of the Church of the Crimson Tide, Westchester County Chapter.

o   Love.

·      And my power isn’t bombastic or loud. My power is a gentle tide.

·      Therefore I relate so deeply to the Wolf. Wolves are powerful but gentle animals. But they are absolutely predators! Don’t you dare get in my way when it comes to the people I love and care for. I will absolutely defend my love for them to the death.

·      My mom once said to me “you have to play the game” socially. I hated that because it didn’t make any sense to me. You must get along to get on – or so I thought. To me, I believe the “game” is being unquestionably and unapologetically authentic. Whole, complete, and powerful. The full expression of who you are is playing the game. I’m not there yet, but there’s still time. And it’s a practice.